Park Yong-ha in memory

He sang the song. One of the OST in "On Air". Wahhh, so sad lahh. Sedap kut suara dia. Haihhh, Korean artists sangat ramai yang bunuh diri. Probably sangat tertekan kut kat sana. Hopefully Big Bang pun won't end up to be like him T_____T

Park Yong-ha found dead

Pelakon hensem yang berlakon cerita On Air and Winter Sonata dah mati. Gila sedih. I like him very much wohh T_T

Korea ni ramai pelakon dia suicide~

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Just two years ago, Korean actor-and-singer Park Yong-ha harbored plans for greatness, plans that went beyond the Korean Wave.

The 32-year-old was found dead early Wednesday morning. Park’s mother found his body on Wednesday at 5:30 a.m. at his residence in Nonhyeon-dong, Seoul. The police reported that Park died with an electrical cord tied around his neck. No suicide note was found.

The police viewed Park’s death as a suicide based on the depositions of the deceased’s family.

“While my son massaged the legs and back of his father, who suffered from the late stages of stomach cancer, he said ‘I am sorry. I am sorry,’ to his family before going into his room past midnight,” Park’s mother was quoted as saying in a deposition.

News reports said that Park, who had devoted himself to nursing his ailing father, had been taking sleeping pills because he had been experiencing trouble sleeping.

In the public eye, the singer-and-actor’s future appeared bright.

He had just nabbed a lead role opposite “Coffee Prince” actress Yoon Eun-hye in a dramatic remake of the Hong Kong film “Comrades: Almost a Love Story” (1996) and had started a Japan concert tour before he died.

“I like it now, but I don’t want to be remembered or seen, after the Hallyu trend has died out, as Hallyu star Park Yong-ha,” he told The Korea Herald in 2008.

“I want to be someone who can cover a lot of territory. Just my name. Is that too hard?”

Park, who made his debut in 1997, was propelled to Hallyu stardom following his stint in the highly successful KBS drama “Winter Sonata” (2002).

On the wings of his Korean Wave success, Park forged a career for himself in Japan, where over the course of five years he churned out 10 hit albums and singles and won four consecutive Japan Gold Disc Awards -- a first for a Korean pop artist.

In 2008, Park revealed that the years spent in Japan, particularly when he appeared on talk shows, were some of the most painful during his career as a Hallyu star.

“Yes, you could say that this is a painful memory for me,” Park said. “In a situation where I didn’t know the culture and the language well -- while they do translate -- when a talk show gets underway, it’s hard for everything to be fully translated.”

Park pinpointed moments when people on the show would laugh after he said something: “They would laugh together, among themselves. I really hated that moment, that moment of laughter. I had no idea what they were saying, but since they were laughing I had to join in.”

Park related how when he started to laugh, it left a sour taste in his mouth and made him sweat and think: “What did they just say?”

“While I worked in Japan, these sorts of things, kind of, made me sad,” he said.

After cementing his career as a singer in Japan, Park returned to Korean television in 2008 in the hit SBS drama “On Air.” Following his successful comeback, Park went on to star in the male-driven flick “The Scam” (2009) and the testosterone-heavy KBS drama “The Slingshot” (2009).

“It feels good to be a Hallyu star,” he said in 2008. “If you look down the line, there will be this time when Hallyu stars were big, and it’s good that I got to be a part of that time.”

Park’s death follows on the heels of actor Choi Jin-young’s suicide in March, nearly two years after his sister, actress, Choi Jin-sil, committed suicide in 2008.　

His passing serves as a reminder of the recent string of celebrity suicides, from the deaths of actresses Lee Eun-ju in 2005 and Jeong Da-bin in 2007 to that of actor Ahn Jae-hwan in 2008 and “Boys Over Flowers” actress Jang Ja-yeon in 2009.

Park’s body lies at Seoul St. Mary’s Hospital Funeral Hall. The funeral will take place on Wednesday.

By Jean Oh (oh_jean@heraldm.com)

source: http://www.koreaherald.com/national/Detail.jsp?newsMLId=20100630000044

Kecewa

SANGAT kecewa bila tengok orang yang sangat aku kenali dulu, sebagai orang yang boleh dikira alim, pandai ilmu agama, well, at least basic nya sangat lah kukuh, kini dah berubah sangat jauh, terlampau jauh. Sumpah hati sangat sakit bila tengok. Sumpah terasa pedih dan sedih melihat perubahan yang sangat mendadak tu. Dari seorang yang begitu sopan bertudung, dan boleh dibawak berbicara pasal soal agama, berubah kepada tak pakai tudung, menjadi seksi yang agak quite melampau DAN dah pandai pergi clubbing and wallahua'lam, aku tak tahu dia minum arak ke tak. Memang sebijik macam rusa masuk kampung. Honestly aku cakap, sori to say, ni lah yang dipanggil culture shock yang sangat melampau. Perlu ke berubah sampai macam tu sekali? =(

p/s: ini hanya lah luahan hati aku yang sangat kecewa melihat sahabat aku dulu, dah menyimpang terlampau jauh. Aku sangat berharap aku tak menyimpang seperti itu juga. Alhamdulillah, setakat ni aku punya kawan2 yang masih mampu biar aku duduk di jalan yang lurus lagi :)

Apa ini?

Accidentally found this while checking the FEEDJIT Live tracker. Ahaha kelakar lak aku rasa. Ada pulak nama blog aku kat website lain. Takpe2 kasi naik traffic sikit hehe~

Bad dream. I hate it!

Last night (or I might say just now?) I had a really, really, really bad dream. Seriously scary lah that dream. The dream goes like this, it might sound eeuuww to some people but just wanted to share hoho.

In that dream, I kinda have some flashback meeting my doctor, well, the Assunta Hospital doctor, a neurologist, Datuk Dr Raihanah, and she kinda did some weird examinations to me. So that was kind of a flashback in the dream. While having the flashback, I did my routine works, normally, like nothing happened.

And one day, one fine day, suddenly I felt something weird at the right boobs (sorry for the words. couldn't help but can't express the story in any other way). And even more suddenly, it kinda exploded (not really like "boom"! laa. it's "exploded") and rasa macam ada nanah and cecair semua like what you guys can see at those who have breast cancer. I was like, "OMG, OMG, what happened???". Sumpah takut.

So I was panicking and don't know what to do. I asked my mom what really happened. I was expecting her to be shock more than I do but at my surprised, she calmly said (very calmly! not like my mother at all) that she and my father already knew that I have breast cancer but they just wanted to keep it as secret. And suddenly, the flashback from the scene with doctor came back again. And finally konon revealed laa yang that doctor also subahat kasi tipu sama aku.

Rapidly, questions come to my mind. So I was thinking why the hell the people won't tell me that I have this one dangerous disease and why the hell the doctor just don't do the surgery to move out the cancer or the lump or what ever it is. I looked at my mom with a face with thousand of questions and she was like "Takpe2, benda tu tak bahaya. Jom pergi hospital" with a face that's very calm. I was like, "Apa benda pulak tak bahaya. Cancer tuhh. And it has exploded!". But I remember telling my mom in the dream, very sadly, that I think I won't live longer than her. Oihh, super sad lah.

So went to hospital. And at the hospital, while waiting for the doctor, suddenly poooof!! I woke up. Sweatily (well not really sweaty laa. It's very literal pasal aku tidur kat bilik ada aircond ahaha). So I double checked and everything is just fine. Then only finally realize that everything was just only a stupid dream. Stupid tak stupid, very scary kot T____T

p/s: oh, yesterday finally goes to the doctor (again) to have a check on this cute lump on my neck. It's already been there since I was in secondary school kot, can't remember. Before don't really bother about the lump because it's really small but recently when I finally more knowledgeable about health, so finally realize, better go and check laa. And thank God, the doctor said that it's only a cyst. No need to worry about it. It can be remove through surgery but it may come back. I don't really care laa pasal that thing isn't really visible unless I stretch my neck out huhu

Yellow-ness

Oh. hurm :)

Sepetang di Kenny Rogers

Hari ni memang murah rezeki. Pergi makan Kenny Rogers. Pesan makan. Tapi diorang kata lambat siap. Kena tunggu 10 minit. Tanya nak side dish dulu ke? Kitorang cakap taknak. Takpe lah kitorang tunggu. Sambil tunggu borak2 dulu:

Aku: Kat Kenny Rogers ni sup dia quite mahal ek

Kakak: A'ah2. Bape ringgit tah. 5 ringgit kut

Aku: Ye kut. Tah tak ingat (padahal tak silap aku dekat sploh hinggit jugak)

Tiba2, ada sorang waiter datang bawak 2 mangkuk mushroom soup.

Waiter: Ni kami bagi dulu. Pasal makanan lambat siap.

Waiter tu pun blah. Aku pandang kakak aku.

Aku: Ahaha. Aku cakap jer terus dapat kut. Takleh blah

Kakak: Haa, apa lagi, cepat lah wish apa ko nak skang ni. Konpem dapat.

Aku: *wink3*

Rezeki seyhh hari ni heheehe.

p/s: tadi ayah aku ternampak pekerja yang kerja bawah dia dulu. Oh gila selamba dia call orang tuh suruh datang kat Kenny Rogers jumpa dia time tuh jugak. Ayah aku dah bersara tapi lagak masih macam bos. Terlupa kot dia dah bersara ahaha. Tapi bila dia borak dengan diorang, memang tak tumpah macam kawan dia saja. That's what best about my father :)

Nuffnang. Cash, cash, cash?

I have already know about nuffnang quite a long time kot. Dari zaman blogging time IL dulu. Time tuh memang laa letak nuffnang semua bagai tapi earning aku time tuh, omg memang kelakar lah. Berbulan-bulan aku letak kat blog, RM0.25 tunai tak gerak2 langsung. Lepas dah berapa bulan aku mula merasakan nuffnang ni macam menyemak je kat blog aku so I've decided nak remove je. Pasal dah macam malas.

Tapi, at one time, tiba2 aku rasa macam nak letak balik nuffnang ni kat blog. Pasal aku rasa dengan nuffnang ni macam boleh track anyone yang pernah melintas kat blog aku dengan lagi senang. So yeah, kerana malas tahap cipan, aku minta tolong Aqilah Irina untuk letak segala bagai coding kat blog. Terima kasih pada beliau, aku berjaya letak balik. Nak harapkan aku, malas pulak rasa nak godek coding hohoho.

So start dalam april balik jugak lah aku start ada nuffnang balik kat blog aku. Dengan intention super innocent langsung takde niat nak earning bagai ni. Aku kan kaki stalker so lagi berminat nak cari jejak kaki orang.

Tapi recently ni, tanpa aku sedari, sikit2 earning aku naik. Pelik lah jugak aku rasa. Padahal sebelum ni doplohlimasen berbulan tak mau naik2. And sedar tak sedar jugak, makin banyak iklan dok menepek kat blog aku. Aku pun apa lagi, excited lah, sikit2 pun, sampai RM50, dah boleh cash out dah.

So yes, ni lah hasil kumpul dari april sampai sekarang. Nilai kena cover laa hehe. Abaikan BIG BANG kat tepi tuh haha. Oh, ada lagi kat bawah sebenarnya. Malas nak capture:

Oh ya, note untuk pika. Ada orang google nama ko seyhh:

And reader perempuan aku dah bertambah ramai. Dude dah kurang jadi 48% compare hari tu, erk tak ingat berapa. 60%?

Reminisce the past :)

Hari post pika buat aku terkenang2 time dulu2. Perghh time sekolah dulu. Memang time sekolah dulu, zaman, em, tak mengenal kesusahan. Nak markah pun kena merayu2 cam hape tah. Sekarang baru tau nak hargai grade, nak hargai markah, nak hargai USAHA. Post dia memang mengenang dan sangat kelakar lah kan :)

Hari ni jugak, Nina, kawan blogger, kawan facebook lama aku, update post baru! Ahaha. Teringat zaman super noob time blogging dulu. Semua suka nak update and ada blog especially time subject Information Literature (IL) dulu. Time madam suruh semua buat blog. Time tuh memang semua gila cari widget, decorate blog, cari template best. Pastuh teringat pulak time dengan Nina dulu suka sangat komen2 kat facebook. Gosip sesama sendiri. Time tuh adnan masih lagi tak mo add aku kat facebook. Menjaga secret kata nya ahaaha. Sekarang semua terbongkar. No more secret hihi.

Hari ni jugak excited gila tengok Big bang balik. Dulu time cenfos rajin gilos layan kot. Especially lagu2 lama diorang, Lie dengan Majimak Insa (Last Greeting). Lagu haru2 pulak, aku antara terawal download pv dia ahaha. Sekarang semua dah berubah. Makin muscular weee! ahaa~

Past, present and future. It's life :)

Zynga Games; I like :)

Recently I have been slowly quitting playing FarmVille, well for some reasons. Most probably because maybe I had leveled up too much (ahaha) and maybe because I found that I have no other concrete reasons to play FarmVille. Ye laa, up till now the reason why I've been playing FarmVille because love to buy all the buildings and now, because I have, well maybe, own almost all of the buildings, so it feels like I don't have any other purpose to play FarmVille anymore. And I got less space for my buildings. I don't like that =/

BUT, fortunately I am not that easy in giving up in anything. It's hard to let go things that I like or I had liked. Once I like, I'll treasure probably, forever (ahaha hyperbole sungguh!). Not lah forever. It really takes time for me to actually let it go. So maybe for this little time, I'll let it go for awhile. I might play it again (and level up again) like what I used to do with cafe world :)

I have read that recently, FarmVille's popularity and rating has been decreasing. Like from 252 million users, has been downgraded to only 216 million users, as in for these current days. But this is not the main reason laa why I quit playing FarmVille. I maybe one of the quitters that been contributing to the fall for the rating ahaha~

One of the reason why I kinda let go FarmVille for awhile is that because of the newest and the latest Zynga games : Treasure Isle and FrontierVille. Treasure Isle is kinda old compared to FrontierVille. Already played Treasure Isle for quite a time now. Okay laa that game. Though it's kinda a little hard just to finish up one island. But recently they have made changes. Every time when visit neighbour's island, can get 10XP and also gem or maybe fruit. Very nice. I like the new style. Don't really have to think laa when playing Treasure Isle. Just click everywhere while your mind wandering around. But need to use a little part of my brain when I want to level up fast. It's kinda a little tricky I think.

FrontierVille, the newest Zynga's game, is a little different. Those who have played FarmVille, will have a little idea on how to play this game. It's kinda a little expanded version of FarmVille. At first, it's kinda confusing but after awhile, I kinda can catch up on how to level the thing fast. You just need to understand the game more, and think a little bit. What I really like about this game is, this game isn't really static like FarmVille. The grasses grow, the trees also grow. And you can have family and spouses ahaha. Very nice. And one more thing, can explore new lands (I think laa). So more adventurous to me hehe

No wonder lah Zynga's price is very high now. 4 billion wuishh. I can declare that I am a fan of them ahaaha

p/s: actually kinda missed playing games like final fantasy (i like final fantasy, like really a lot). but the newest final fantasy? cannot play lah. don't have ps3. sighhh :( tade tapi tak mahu beli huhu~

Gelagat di masjid

Scene 1

Aku tengah nak ambil wudhuk time tuh. And ada laa 2 orang budak kecik umur dalam 7-8 tahun camtuh. Rasanya diorang tengah testing ambil wudhuk kot. Tengah belajar lagi. Sambil ambil wudhuk, sambil siap borak2 lagi. Aku pun apa lagi, try control macho lah depan budak2 ni. Yelah, tunjuk contoh baik lah depan diorang, ambil wudhuk betul2. Lepas jer habis ambil wudhuk, diorang pun dok mengadap cermin nak betulkan tudung. Aku lak join belakang diorang. Terjadi perbualan antara kanak2 dua orang dengan suara ala2 serius macam upin dan ipin:

Budak 1: Awak2, awak reti sembahyang tak? Kita tak reti laa wak

Budak 2: Aaa, kita pun tak reti laa awak

Budak 1: Tapi wak kalau tak sembahyang nanti kena dendaaa

Budak 2: A'ah2, nanti kena denda. Kalau kain basah pun kena denda

Aku yang memula gila control macho muka terus gila tak tahan gelak. Serius comel and lawak adek2 dua orang. Teringat aku time kecik2 dulu. Haihhh adek2, kita sembahyang bukan takot kena denda dik, kita takutkan Allah :)

Scene 2

Ayah aku tengah lepak lepas habis sembahyang sambil tunggu aku dengan mak aku. Dia duduk laa kat area parking tuh. Kat situ lak, ada mamak jual putu mayam. And ada sorang budak sekolah rendah kut, nak beli putu mayam. So budak tu tanya lah kat mamak tuh:

Budak: Nak putu mayam satu

Mamak: Satu tarak boleh. Dua saja boleh

Budak: *Kecewa*

Ayah aku yang ada kat situ terdengar. Dia pun panggil la budak tuh.

Ayah: Dik, sini2.

Budak: *Gerak pergi kat ayah aku*

Ayah: Nah, amek ni. Pergi beli dua. (sambil hulur duit)

Budak: Eh, tak payah lah pakcik.

Ayah: Takpe2, amek jer.

Haihh mamak ni. Nak jual satu pun payah sangat. Selalu lah, budak2 sekolah tuh laa yang bagi awak rezeki. Apa lah salah nya ringankan sikit tang tuhh

Scene 3

Tengah tunggu orang azan asar. Ayah aku tengah lepak dengan kawan dia, sorang bekas sarjan. Tiba2 ada seorang perempuan entah dari mana tah, call ayah aku:

Perempuan: Hello, awak kat mana tuh? (tiba2 jer)

Ayah: Kat masjid ni

Perempuan: Masjid mana pulak?

Ayah: Masjid seksyen 14 ni

Perempuan: Buat apa pulak kat masjid???

Ayah: Buat apa lagi, sembahyang lah!! (tiba2 jer ayah aku snap ahaha)

Perempuan: *terus end call*

Ni lagi satu kelakar. Dah lah dia salah nombor, boleh tanya lagi apa orang buat buat kat masjid tuh. Ahaha kelakar laa~ Manusia2.

Huhu, cuti ni dah macam orang bersara dah aku ni. Ikut mak aku jemaah kat masjid. Best ;)

Imej budak UIA

Hari ini berjalan lagi kat Taman Aman. Macam biasa lah. Tengah syok2 jalan2 dengan mak, tiba2 mata aku tertarik kat 3 orang yang tengah borak2 sesama sendiri. Sorang perempuan and 2 orang lelaki. Lama jugak aku perhati diorang ni. Pasal aku rasa macam kenal pulak yang perempuan tuh. Lama aku perhati, baru aku perasan, dia ex-schoolmate aku, merangkap budak UIA juga sekarang. Nama terpaksa dirahsiakan tapi kalau budak sri aman tau kot siapa kalau aku cakap dia tuh pengawas dulu and kembar lelaki. One of the guys tu kembar dia, and the other one boyfriend dia, budak UIA juga.

Dalam dok perhatikan dia macam tuh, aku pun dok cerita lah kat mak aku yang aku kenal perempuan tuh. Aku cakap lah dia budak Sri Aman and also budak UIA. Tiba2 mak aku pun bertanya lah satu soalan yang cukup persis, jitu dan tepat pada pandangan aku:

"Budak UIA ke? Mana tudung dia?"

Terkesima sebentar aku mendengar soalan tuh. Mak aku bertanya bukan secara sinis tetapi atas sebab curious.

Haihhh, tak tahu lah nak cakap apa. Aku pun bukan baik sangat pun. Tapi satu je la, kalau nak tahu lah kan, even budak UIA pun, mereka semua (termasuk aku) tetap manusia biasa. Macam mana korang nampak manusia kat luar tuh, macam tuh jugak lah perangai budak2 UIA. Tapi tak lah semua begitu, ramai jer yang alim2.

p/s: statement interesting pernah aku dengar; "Budak UIA terbahagi pada 3. Satu golongan extremist, satu golongan liberal and satu lagi golongan atas pagar. Pilih lah kau nak duduk kat mana".

Renung2 kan dan selamat beramal ^_^

Petua hilangkan angin : bawang putih terbaik

Hari ini angin menyerang satu badan dengan begitu ganas sekali. I can't stay still. Kepala rasa sangat over sakit. Anddddd I can't breath well too. My God. Memang rasa half dead jugak lah. Rasa macam nak cabut kepala pastu baling jauh2, like seriously. Dengan gila rasa susah nak bernafasnya. Memang tak ah kan. The worst feeling ever.

Macam2 dah try. Tarok minyak angin lah, makan ubat angin lah and drink eno lagi. Semua tak berapa jalan. At one point, rasa macam nak pitam and can't really feel the body. Sengsara sehh kena serangan angin nih.

And bila dah tak tahan sangat, terpaksa guna alternatif lain, encik google. Beliau sangat berguna pda masa kini. So cari lah petua hilang kan angin. And guess what? Memang banyak jumpa and aku guna cara yang sangat tradisional :

"Tumbuk seulas bawang putih, panaskan air, letak bawang putih kat dalam tuh, tutup and biar sejuk. Selawat 3 kali lepad tuh minum"

Yes people! Aku minum air kosong campor bawang putih. Diulangi, bawang putih. Kedengaran sangat tak sedap kan? Tapi, bila dah angin tahap macam ni, sedap tak sedap belakang kira. Asalkan mujarab. Tapi rasa boleh tahan lah. Still edible jugak. Fuhhh..

Lepas jer minum, burpppp 3 kali. Besar punya. Haha pengotor. Pedulik hapa. Janji rasa tak selesa tuh kurang. Ooo yeahhh~

A not so weird doctor

Again, went to see the doctor. Was urge by my father. So pergi lah kat PPUM. Jumpa a chinese doctor sorang ni, muda lagi (lelaki, hensem! ahaha suka pulak aku).

So I have a talk with him quite a while just now. Quite a long talk actually. Was trying to get real facts about what's going on with me. So we talk about this and that. I asked a lot of questions and he answer it. And guess what? I really enjoy talking with him lah!

Gila lama tak borak camtuh. I am a girl who love to ask things, like seriously. I like to get my facts right, and I love to share my own facts and opinions. So I clarified some few things that made me feel curious just now. Got the answers that are quite satisfying for me.

So yeah, insya Allah nothing to worry about. Maybe seriously I am stress laa. Dia siap boleh tanya ada stress ke apa and I was like, "I'm on my holiday right now, so takkan lah stress" and dia gelak2. Ahaha, mesti dia rasa problematic je budak sorang ni. Banyak bertanya pulak tuh.

Yess people! After this enjoy your holiday, no need to be stress (stress bercuti kot!). Take your own sweet time at home. Kasik gelak gila babas pasal sem baru dah nak start (like, finally weee) :)

Bought new stuff

BIG BANG's DVD!

Kata mak.

Mak aku kata.

"Kalau lelaki tu betul-betul nak kat kamu, lelaki tuh betul-betul sayang kamu, mesti dia akan tunjuk jugak usaha yang dia nak dapatkan kamu. Tak payah lah kalau kamu nak terhegeh-hegeh kat lelaki tu. Kalau betul dia yang cari kamu, dia memang nak kat kamu dan dia memang terima kamu seadanya"

Kata mak aku kepada kakak aku.

Tapi, aku dengar juga. Ye mak, kata-kata mak selalu pasti ada betulnya. Akan aku dengar dan ambil pengajaran.

Dan aku nantikan kehadiran lelaki itu. Insya Allah, suatu hari nanti, dia akan muncul jua =)

My shortness of breath, and the weird doctors

Aku lately ni lah, rajin betul singgah hospital dengan klinik. Penat beb, serius tak tipu. Satu persatu sakit datang. Dari memula vertigo lah, pastu ni another sakit pulak datang. Aku rasa aku ni stress duduk rumah ni. Nak start sem baru cepat2 haha.

So anyway, baru2 ni dalam 3-4 hari ni, aku rasa macam dada aku ada pressure and rasa tak best. Pressure dia rasa macam dari upper part of the chest, going to tangan kanan, and up to the neck. Serius rasa tak selesa langsung. And lepas tuh chest pressure ni datang lak sekali pakej dengan shortness of breath. Rasa semput jer hari2. Of course lagi sekali merisaukan aku jer. Bila duduk rasa tak senang, bangun pun rasa sesak, baring lagi rasa terhimpit. Serius seksa wohh!~ My mom was convincing me that the thing tuh angin sebenarnya sebab tak biasa makan ubat. I was a little convinced by the words so ikut lah nasihat dia makan ubat angin semua. Tapi still dada masih rasa sesak. So there goes my first visit to clinic

The first weird doctor

Firstly, aku decide lah nak pergi klinik just for a opinion from the doctor. If anyone notice, klinik Ludher, Bhullar and rakan2 yang ada kat almost kat simpang kat seksyen 14 tuh. Pergi situ, I was greeted by an Indian doctor, looks kinda young. Probably age around 30 something macam tu lah. So I tell him about the symptoms and he gave me his opinion. At first he was suspecting me having asthma but then he said that probably tekak aku swells badly so probably sebab tuh tak dapat bernafas dengan betul. It kinda block the saluran for the oxygen to go through. So yes, dengar logik kat telinga aku. Lepas dengar of course nak cakap thanks and terus nak balik tapi dan2 nak balik tuh lah tiba2 the doctor sambung lak lecture dia. Aisehh. Dia mula lah tiba2 tanya aku course apa semua. Then dia kata

"You young people should be getting married earlier. Don't be like me, always believe what other people told me. They told me to build my carrier first la then baru get married. I think you guys should be married first then sambung master. Baru hidup happy2 takde stress bla3"

Anddd the doctor continues his lecture about life and marriage. Woaahhh! I wasn't expecting to be lecture this lerr haha. But at least his lecture was good to hear. I just can't cover my laugh at that time. Serious terasa nak tergelak kot. Apakes ler tiba2 stuck in front of the doctor, cannot get out then need to hear lecture some more. Tapi satu ayat dia kinda motivates me,

"Your mind need to be positive. Nowadays there's no diseases that can't be treated except the oldness and also AIDS. Every disease has it's own solutions, even cancer. Just keep your mind positive and strong"

Really interested with his lecture. Ok lah doctor, wa tabik sama lu! This kind of motivating doctors should exist everywhere here in this world la!

The second weird doctor (weird oh weird)

This time aku still lagi rasa pressure kat dada then rasa nafas sangat sesak. So decided to get the second opinion from other clinic. My mom afraid that it got something to do with heart failure ke apa. So yes, here I go to PUSRAWI. Gave my ic, check in and waited for my name to be called. Finally they called me. Got in the room, there waits a young doctor, lelaki, and quite good looking(hehe), sitting there patiently. Aku pun apa lagi duduk ler tepi. The chair was kinda really near to the doctor so I was kinda gugup sekejap kat depan dia. Dia tanya sakit apa but then aku macam...

"Err, aaa, um saya rasa pressure kat chest bla3..."

Serius gugup kot nak cakap. Muka dia kat depan aku jer. Padahal aku ni boleh kira tahap tinggi jugak confidence aku. Even nak cakap dengan lecturer pun. Mungkin sebab dia dekat sangat kut. Cis doctor ni. Lepas tuh dia tulis lah semua aku cakap kat dalam buku pastu dia tanya ada history asthma ke tak and aku cakap tak ada.

Pastu tiba2, dia tanpa bagi salam ke hapa, tekan kuat2 (gila babas kuat) kat area dada aku and I was like,

"Aaaa! Sakit3!" sambil buat muka camni o_O. Serius sakit kot dia tekan. Was like very throbbing kat situ.

So doctor tuh pun cakap la,

"Ni sakit Costochondritis ni. Pernah dengar tak?"

Aku buat muka blur. Hehh??

"Tau guna internet?"

Aku angguk2 (siot doctor, aku budak ICT kot. tapi doctor cam paham2 aku suka google pasal penyakit.

"Nanti pergi cari kat internet pasal Costochondritis ni"

Aku memotong cakap dia, "Camne lak nak eja tuh??" sambil buat muka sengal.

Pastuh dia pun tulis lah atas kertas. Tapi sebenarnya dia salah eja. Dia eja costocondritis. Muka confident gila babas haha.

Tulisan doctor beb. Berpusing gak nak paham. haha

So lepas tuh cakap thanks and everything, and dia bagi pain killer and juga Menzza (ubat sapu). Tak leh blah doktor ni. Selalu bila doktor nak check ke or anything mesti laa bagi salam ke apa dulu. Lagi2 dia doktor laki kott. Suddenly pressing on my chest and it hurts like hell laa wehh. Kalu doktor perempuan pun biasa dia kata at least lah, excuse me ke. Aiseh doctor ni. Tapi takpe, aku maafkan. Itu menunjukkan professionalism dalam bekerja. Boleh lah dipuji haha.

So balik tuh ape lagi, cepat2 lah pergi google, tabiat biasa aku wehh. So found out pasal this costochondritis. Malas lak nak tulis panjang2. Mahu tahu, sila google haha. Tapi main point dia, benda disebabka oleh akviti lasak camtu lah. Padahal aku dok umah jer hari2. Pelik ler jugak. TAPI, benda ni boleh juga disebabkan suka duduk mengadap laptop 24 jam dengan badan bongkok. Voila! That's the main reasonlah, I think. Tapi doctor ada cakap, need not to worry. Insya Allah, nothing dangerous.

p/s: I am officially a Computer Science student now. Haihh, mari2 struggle more!

Awek jepun dan korea

Terbaca post pika pasal lisa surihani and tiba2 terasa nak buat posting jugak ler hehe. Betul kata pika, even kita rasa kita tak berapa cantek, dengan merasakan diri ni cantek, self-esteem pun naik lah. Kena build up confidence in ourself.

Aku pun suka tengok awek2 jepun dengan korea. Mereka sangat comel lah kat mata aku. Serious lah kan, bila layan music video ke hape, bukan lah nak cop diri ni lesbo ke apa. Just memang suka tengok mereka yang comel2 ni. Nak tiru gaya diorang sikit2 ke. Okay ape hehe. Kinda motivate my own self untuk jadi macam diorang lah lebih kurang. Pastu bila tengok video clip comel2, it's really enjoyable :D

Antara awek2 jepun dengan korea yang aku suka tengok (yang aku ingat lah):

Jepun

Toda Erika

Suka tengok minah ni pasal dia muka macam ceria gitu. And seriously aku suka tengok orang mata besar2 ni. Best and jeles haha. Pasal mata aku kecik =_="

Nanako Matsushima

Dia ni dah tua (38 tahun) tapi still chantek sangat lagi. Otai heroin kat Jepun hehe

Korea

Lee Hyori

Payah nak cari gambar decent dia ni haha. Pun tua jugak lah. Umur dia dah 31. Tapi aku suka tengok dia pasal dia punya aura sexy and full of confidence. Tapi antara satu lagi sebab kenapa aku suka dia, that is dia still nampak cantek even without makeup. Pure Korean yang sangat tanned haha~

Aku suka cuci mata tengok SNSD. Lagi2 tengok video Gee yang menjadi kegilaa budak2 laki. Oh mereka memang nampak sangat comel dalam video tuh. Dulu aku dengan roommate kalau tension suka layan video Gee sama2 haha. Berbanding Wonder Girls, aku rasa SNSD lagi cute.

Tapi kalau nak kata favourite aku lah, aku suka tengok Sooyoung. Pasal mata dia besar jugak haha

Sooyoung

Itu je la yang dapat aku senarai sekarang. Yang melintas kat kepala aku lah. Kang banyak2 penoh lak nnt. Jangan lah cop aku lesbo udah ler haha~

My old image and current. Different, very different.

People always thought that I am a sombong girl. I don't know why they think that way but the real truth is, no I'm not that kind of person. Try to be my friend, more exactly, my close friends, you'll know the true me.

Hari tu, last day punya appointment dekat Assunta Hospital, I met my ex-schoolmate, Rahimunnisha Rizal (najmah and pika confirm kenal dia). She's a girl lah, though her name is kinda weird and rare. I came quite late for the appointment so kena lah tunggu pasal Assunta ni pakai prinsip first come first serve (haha boleh pulak camtuh). So while waiting, aku cam biasa suka peek in the room tengok patient semua tengah buat time kena interrogate dengan doctor. Biasa kalau kaitan dengan neurology ni sangat interesting la dia punya check up. So saje2 mahu tengok apa doctor buat heheh. Time tengah2 peek in tiba2, aku nampak seorang nurse ni, muka macam kenal jer. Very3 familiar face for me. Lepas tengok 2-3 kali, confirm tuh Nisha (that girl that I was talking about).

At first I kinda have some doubts untuk tegur dia. Sebab by looking at my past, I wasn't really in a good term with my ex-schoolmates, well kinda with most of them. So yes, I decided to berpura2 tak nampak dia. I think she saw me too tapi took the same action as I did. She seems like wanting to approach me but something seems like preventing her from doing that. I'm not really sure what it is but one thing I kinda sure, it's my previous image that she had on me.

Kalau2 dulu2 aku nampak dia, aku akan pura2 tak kenal. Senyum pun tidak as if I don't know her at all. Pattern aku lah kalau nampak orang dulu2. Memang confirm buat muka tak kenal. Kalau orang sapa pun buat muka acuh tak acuh. But mostly people were scared nak tegur aku. Memang tengok muka aku mereka dah cap muka sombong haha.

So back to the story. Aku pun usha lah dia sikit2, sipi2 macam tuh. Dalam hati memang terasa sangat nak tegur dia tapi badan aku memang tak gerak langsung. So aku pandang2 camtuh je la. Dia pun mula2 pandang2 aku jugak tapi at last kami dua2 mengelak nak pandang antara satu sama lain. Trying to act as if we don't know each other.

So after almost 3 hours we acted that way, finally my name been called. Aku pun apa lagi, memang time tuh dalam hati dah pasang niat kuat nak tegur dia. Aku bukan aku yag dulu lagi. Kalau aku dulu memang langsung pura2 tak nampak. Tapi aku sekarang memang tak macam tuh. At least sekadar berbasa-basi bak kata orang melayu, pun cukup lah. So finally, I make my step untuk tegur dia. And to my real surprised, dia sambut sapaan aku dengan ramah, sangat ramah. And we talked like, as if we have known each other for a looong time. She was like didn't really expect me to tegur her that way. We talked about our current life and everything.

So yeah, there goes my old image. Aku bukan sombong ye, itu sangat pasti. Aku sebenarnya boleh je cakap dengan sesiapa but my old image, really kinda haunting me. Aku pernah jumpa ramai ex-schoolmates, tapi semua macam taknak tegur sapa dengan aku, like seriously. I might need to meet them again, get to know them again. I'm not like what I used to be. I am the new me now :)

p/s: post ni takde kaitan langsung dengan status facebook aku "I'll never be the same, if we ever meet again". Status yang tuh got other meaning. Well, the true meaning is, let me keep that to myself :)

Result and pictures of my CT Scan

So went to get my result for CT Scan. No calls so far. So that means? Everything is fine! Alhamdulillah =)

Wasn't that nervous when I went to fetch the result lah. Pasal kinda dapat agak result dia (cuz of the no calls hehe). So here goes the pictures of the scan. Agak susah nak capture pasal you need to put it under lights so that you can get clear images.

The doctor said you can see the "salur darah" very nicely there in the brain. Adek2, itu lah otak saya :)

omg! my eyeballs! so cute rite? :D

Another pictures of it.

Full result :)

Notice the "Mildly deviated nasal septum concave to the right" tuh? Doktor tak lah cakap apa2 tp made me feel curios jugak lah. Itu ayat means that tulang kat hidung aku yang senget haha. Cacat sikit ler tp nothing to worry about. Nasib baik senget tuh tak nampak physically haha :p

Perjalanan terakhir

Semalam, Pak Long belah mak aku meninggal dunia. Tak silap umur dia dalam 66 tahun macam tuh. Dia ada sakit kencing manis and jantung pun dah lemah. Dia bukanlah adik beradik mak aku. Dia sepupu mak aku so more to pakcik dua pupu aku lah.

Petang semalam tiba2 jer dapat call yang dia dah tak ada. Wasn't really expected that. Pasal we know yang dia selalu masuk hospital and health condition dia memang tak seberapa. Tapi tak tahu lah pulak dah sampai tahap tak ada harapan.

Pagi semalam dia dah start nazak. Doktor cakap memang dah takde harapan and kena bersedia and redha. So semalam memang anak2 dia dah kumpul ramai2, and get ready. Pagi semalam tuh, Mak Long aku bacakan yassin untuk dia. Lepas dah baca dua kali, Pak Long aku dah start tak boleh bercakap. Sikit2 pancaindera dia kena tarik. Itu dah janji Allah. Tapi before tu Mak Long aku citer, yang Pak Long aku mintak sendukkan nasi. Tapi bukan mintak kat Mak Long aku. Dia mintak dekat arwah mak dia, that is arwah Wan Ngah aku tolong sendukkan nasi. Memang dah nampak tanda dia nak pergi dah time tuh. Sebab dia dah nampak "dunia" belah lain.

Bila tengok Mak Long, anak2 dia and cucu dia memang sedihlah. Ini untuk kali terakhir, seorang isteri menunaikan tanggungjawab dia pada suami dan kali terakhir seorang anak menjalankan tanggugjawab dia pada bapanya. Yang buat lagi sedih tuh, ternampak cek list kat papan putih kat rumah diorang tulis check up yang patut arwah Pak Long aku pergi.

Apa2 pun, Al-Fatihah untuk arwah. Arwah seorang yang lemah-lembut kat mata aku. Moga Allah ampuni dosa2 arwah dan tempatkan dia di sisi orang2 beriman. Amin.

Lately ni aku tengok poll kat tepi sidebar tuh asyik turun naik jer. So that means readers aku sentiasa bertambah even though not that consistently. Makes me happy hehe. To the "silent readers", teruskan membaca! I like =) and to those yang sudah terang2 menunjukkan anda membaca blog saya, cam biasa lah, komen lagi. I really like that too! Tu je :)

Teddy bears

Kat status Nur Syafiqah Sulaiman kat facebook hari tu, ada laa kami borak-borak pasal teddy bear. Ni semua bermula dengan status dia tulis, "Peluk teddy bear kuat-kuat...". Aku dengan jahatnya cakap lah, "Peluk kuat2 pastuh belasah teddy bear tuh!! heeyak! heeyak! heheh~". Haha, jahat sungguh aku.

Takde lah. As a girl myself, I do cling to the teddy bears a lot too. Teddy bear is like... peneman setia for a girl. If takde teddy bear pun, sure there's one thing that a girl would want to cling on when they feel sad or happy. And I really admit that.

Macam apa pika and aku borak2 hari tu, bila sedih, teddy bear jugak kita cari. Dia jugak yang dengar apa yang kita cakap. And the teddy bear will always smile whenever we are sad. Memang peneman duka terbaik lah (and they never will ever scream if we hit them hard!! haha~). Hug them tightly will actually release our stress, recover our sadness, and hilangkan rasa takut kita yang kita tengah ada.

Satu ayat kelakar pika : "

haha.. itu betul... susah senang semue ngan bear... n if kite cerite pape, bear xkan contradict... not like MEN!! kan? haha..."

Not like men haha. Tapi that "one man" itu jugak lah yang ko sayang, kan pika? ;)

p/s: girls always want men who understand them well and will not make them cry even one drop of tears. remember that :)

p/s/s: and patut korang boleh paham lah kenapa girls selalu suka bila guys bagi teddy bear :)