Friday, June 25, 2010

Bad dream. I hate it!

Last night (or I might say just now?) I had a really, really, really bad dream. Seriously scary lah that dream. The dream goes like this, it might sound eeuuww to some people but just wanted to share hoho.

In that dream, I kinda have some flashback meeting my doctor, well, the Assunta Hospital doctor, a neurologist, Datuk Dr Raihanah, and she kinda did some weird examinations to me. So that was kind of a flashback in the dream. While having the flashback, I did my routine works, normally, like nothing happened.

And one day, one fine day, suddenly I felt something weird at the right boobs (sorry for the words. couldn't help but can't express the story in any other way). And even more suddenly, it kinda exploded (not really like "boom"! laa. it's "exploded") and rasa macam ada nanah and cecair semua like what you guys can see at those who have breast cancer. I was like, "OMG, OMG, what happened???". Sumpah takut.

So I was panicking and don't know what to do. I asked my mom what really happened. I was expecting her to be shock more than I do but at my surprised, she calmly said (very calmly! not like my mother at all) that she and my father already knew that I have breast cancer but they just wanted to keep it as secret. And suddenly, the flashback from the scene with doctor came back again. And finally konon revealed laa yang that doctor also subahat kasi tipu sama aku.

Rapidly, questions come to my mind. So I was thinking why the hell the people won't tell me that I have this one dangerous disease and why the hell the doctor just don't do the surgery to move out the cancer or the lump or what ever it is. I looked at my mom with a face with thousand of questions and she was like "Takpe2, benda tu tak bahaya. Jom pergi hospital" with a face that's very calm. I was like, "Apa benda pulak tak bahaya. Cancer tuhh. And it has exploded!". But I remember telling my mom in the dream, very sadly, that I think I won't live longer than her. Oihh, super sad lah.

So went to hospital. And at the hospital, while waiting for the doctor, suddenly poooof!! I woke up. Sweatily (well not really sweaty laa. It's very literal pasal aku tidur kat bilik ada aircond ahaha). So I double checked and everything is just fine. Then only finally realize that everything was just only a stupid dream. Stupid tak stupid, very scary kot T____T

p/s: oh, yesterday finally goes to the doctor (again) to have a check on this cute lump on my neck. It's already been there since I was in secondary school kot, can't remember. Before don't really bother about the lump because it's really small but recently when I finally more knowledgeable about health, so finally realize, better go and check laa. And thank God, the doctor said that it's only a cyst. No need to worry about it. It can be remove through surgery but it may come back. I don't really care laa pasal that thing isn't really visible unless I stretch my neck out huhu

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