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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Love. Relationship. Strange for me.

Turning someone down was rather one of the hardest thing for me to do. I just don't really like the feeling when I know someone do have his heart for me, but unfortunately, I don't have the feel for him, I just hate the feeling of turning him down. It's like, you know, although I don't have any feeling towards that person, that particular person is also a human, like me, and he has feelings too. I just really, really, really hate to turn anyone down.


Whenever I found out that there's someone out there has feeling for me, but I don't feel a thing for him, I will automatically try to avoid him. Jahat, sangat jahat aku rasa bila aku tahu aku tak suka dia, tapi aku masih layan dia. Jahat untuk aku masih terima layanan baik dia. Bagaikan aku bagi positive respond kat dia. It's not good you know. I don't why there are some girls who are actually really mean, and heartless, untuk mempergunakan orang yang suka kat dia. Aku tak suka begitu.






But somehow if I know someone likes me, and I do like him too, it's a difficult thing for too. Know why? Cuz it's a really strange thing to throw myself in the romance mood. I never felt that before. So I just don't know how it feels. Okay, to tell you guys the truth, yes, I am afraid to be in a relationship. I am afraid to get use to that kind of thing. Just to imagine being in a relationships, enough to scare me. Yes, it scares me. I'm not really sure if I am capable enough to develop those romance feeling with a guy. 


So, right now, I just (maybe?).. feels safe and comfortable in being single. Probably, I'm not sure. Cuz I really don't think that being in a relationship is an easy task for me. I just need a man, in the future, that can lead me towards all these. I just need that kind of man. Yes, those who can lead. You can call that the ideal man for me. So, just until that man comes into my life, I will just wait. And when that man shows up, I'll probably open up my heart, even slowly, and then, insya Allah, will not close it forever =)


p/s: ohhh, post ni. tak leh blah. hahaa. ok2, pengaruh cerita "We Got Married". But still, those words that were uttered up there, adalah ikhlas dari hati aku :) 

Takde idea. Tapi nak jugak update blog. Nak jugak! Rindu sebenarnya nak update blog. But since sekarang cuti, I don't really have any idea or topic untuk diketengahkan kat dalam blog ni (hahah ayat siot nak skema).


Aktiviti cuti yang teruk. Bangun, makan, cuci mata, tengok cerita, downloads, pastu tido balik. Tak sihat? Sangat. But ini cuti. Cuti sepatut nya begini. Haha, ye ke? Heh, cuti sebulan je weh. Gunakan lah sebaik mungkin. Dah start semester baru, haram lah nak lalui kehidupan sebegini. 


Oh, I am so scared for the coming semester. I am so scared to receive the result from the previous exams. I am afraid, seriously. Ok, ok, sila buat tak tahu dulu. Anda ada 9 hari lagi sebelum terpaksa berhadapan dengan realiti, iaitu result. Sila, sila buat tak tahu. Hmm, dah lama tak rasa takut macam ni untuk dapat result :(


Just want to make a short update, since aku dah sangat rindu dekat blog.


Ok, I love this couple. Seriously

Yong Hwa & Seohyun
heee ~


p/s: Oh, pika. Nur Syafiqah Sulaiman. Happy birthday yang ke 20! May Allah bless you always dear! :)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Cinta, sayang, suka. Apa beza?

Hahah tajuk tak boleh blah. Ishh, bukan aku sengaja nak buat tajuk ni. Tiba2 terasa nak buat posting lepas dapat soalan dari anonymous kat formspring. 


"apa beza cinta, sayang dan suka?"

Itu lah soalan yang ditanya. Pehh susah jugak nak jawab. Lagi2 dari orang yang tak ada pengalaman macam aku. 

Ok, jawapan aku akan sangat general. Not really specific on something.

Dan jawapan aku, based on how I feel, or even felt (get what I mean? Apa yang aku tengah rasa atau pernah rasa). 

Ok, nak start dengan sayang dulu. Sebab sayang sangat general bagi aku. 

Apa tu sayang?

Sayang itu apa?

Sayang tu bagi aku lah kan, bila kita dah lama kenal dengan seseorang, dan orang itu dah memang bersusah senang dengan kita, lama2 akan wujud perasaan sayang dekat dia. Sayang ni biasanya general lah kat family, kawan or even lecturer. Biasanya perasaan sayang akan wujud lepas kita dah lama kenal seseorang tu. 

Suka? Apa pulak suka?

Suka ni pulak, hmmm, lebih macam luaran. Macam first time kita nampak seseorang, kita tertarik secara physically or even kat attitude, atau sifat2 dia, itu aku panggil suka. Bila kita nampak dia, kita rasa tertarik kat dia. Kira macam admiring itu pun dipanggil suka.

Cinta? Ohh, sensitif punya perkataan ni.

Tahu tak, bila kita suka seseorang, hanya sekadar suka, tak boleh dipanggil cinta, kalau benda ni tak digabung dengan sayang. Pendapat aku je lah. Aku sememangnya seorang yang tak percaya pada love at the first sight. Apa aku percaya, first sight itu hanya lah suka semata2. Bila cinta, lebih kepada perasaan yang dikongsi oleh 2 orang. Kalau just one side yang ada suka dan sayang, maka tak akan jadi cinta. Kalau dua2 pihak ada suka dan sayang, maka yes, jadik laa cinta.

Aku tak tahu nak define. Definitions are depend on oneself untuk buat definition sendiri. Yang aku tahu, aku pernah tahu suka dan juga sayang, tapi aku tak pernah kenal cinta.

Kepada anonymous, anda puas hati kah dengan jawapan ini? =)

I'm in love.

Tajuk saja nak kasi gempak haha. Mintak maaf sesangat kalau ada yang tertipu. Sebenarnya in love with CN Blue's lead singer; Jung Yong Hwa. At first takde lah excited sangat tengok dia. Tapi lama2 tengok cute pulak. Discovered him through cerita "We Got Married". Nampak dia sangat sweet dengan Seohyun dari SNSD. Serius bila tengok rancangan tu lama2 terus rasa, "arghh, comel pulak mamat ni!". Attitude dia best. Well since ni memang variety show, memang attitude dia yang sebenar lah. 


And oh, members CN Blue yang lain pun cute jugak ;)


\
Seohyun Yong Hwa

 CN Blue
Kebetulan pulak CN Blue ni band, bukannya boyband. Lagi ah aku suka. Aku sebenarnya more towards bands dari boybands tapi boybands ramai gak ah yang cute so layan saja haha. Dah lama sebenarnya video2 CN Blue reside kat dalam aku punya hard disk. Suka dengar lagu2 diorang. My type punya lagu. 

After that, baru lah aku discover rupa-rupa nya dia berlakon cerita You're Beautiful. Haha lambat siot aku ni. Tak kisah ah. Oh, Hongki pun berlakon cerita ni. Suka Hongki! Suara dia sedap nyanyi OST lagu cerita On Air; "Han Ga Ji Mal". Dia pun comel hehe. So currently memang tengah tengok You're Beautiful. 

Cuti yang best. Dipenuhi dengan cuci mata hari2 haha.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Barbecue di Pangsun, Hulu Langat

Yesterday was really tiring but fun day. Got everyone gathered and picnic dekat Pangsun, Hulu Langat. Dah lama tak berkelah dengan family. Last was maybe a couple years ago? I don't remember. Tapi sangat best! Lama sangat tak mandi sungai sama2. Dulu bila semua orang macam dah besar sikit, semua dah tak nak mandi sungai. Leceh lah, apa lah. Selalu aku je yang nak mandi sungai. Now like everyone is joining me terjun sungai. Yeay! I like hehe.

Sekarang dah ada 2 orang abang ipar. So everything was setup by them. Even masak pun kebanyakan nya dibuat mereka. Hahahh, girls dominating my family lah. Tak leh watpe. Tapi bahan marinade, the beefs and chicken parts were prepared by my and my other 2 sisters. 

Picnic was held dekat pakcik aku punya tempat. Tempat tu macam chalet lah lebih kurang. Tapi tak semewah chalet. But still dia ada buat macam kawasan untuk kem motivasi sekolah lah lebih kurang. So kira kawasan ni ada privasi sikit hehe. Oh, and sungai dia, ada one part yang di buat macam empangan. Sesuai untuk berenang beramai2.

So here goes, gambar :)
Mereka lah hero2 yg tolong setup and masak

This cat memang penghuni tempat ni. Kucing liar tapi sangat manja dan sangat lembut ah bulu dia



 Air sungai sangat sejuk dan best. Bersih jugak lah :)



 Barbecue!

Went back before Maghrib and sempat lah jemaah kat masjid for Maghrib.
The end ;)

Saturday, November 20, 2010

After quite a long time, there you go; gastric.

Lama jugak ah tak update blog. Considering that aku ni jenis suka update hari2. Semuanya gara2 gastrik yang tak punya kemanusiaan. Pehh, dah berapa hari dah ni.


All started out masa raya haji hari tu. 2-3 days before that, I trained my self not to eat that much cuz it's bad to eat late at night. So always sleep with an empty stomach. So time raya haji, of course, you know lah, raya, mesti ah meriah gila kan. Dengan rendang lah, lemang lah, semua benda2 wajib time raya. All are there. So I stuffed my stomach with all the random stuffs that can be named, well you name it. Even ice cream pun aku tibai wahaha. 


So that night, my stomach started to feel not right. So there you go, diarrhea. Cis. But the pain is actually kinda weird lah. It's not yang memulas punya sakit tuh. Like you know, sakit memulas time tercirit tuh (haha), yep bukan sakit itu macam. Dia sakit yang gila cucuk2 punya sakit. Very sharp pain punya. Zappp! Macam tuh lah. But still, goes off to the toilet couple of times. And I slept in a very not peaceful night oh sangat sedih! Every 2-3 hours, woken up by the sharp pain. Very not nice I tell you T______T


Memula aku suspect keracunan makanan. Ye lah, korang pun mungkin rasa begitu pasal tengok ah corak pemakanan aku yang bapak entah hape2 time raya aritu haha. But figured out myself. Confirmed ah gastrik. Dah lama tak kena kot. Last kena 2-3 bulan dulu. Tetiba datang balik. Cis. I hate that. 


Today the third day. Still my stomach feels uncomfortable. Rasa a bit nauseous gak ah. Tapi sharp pain is no more lah. Haihh, itu lah. Makan biar berpada. Padan muka kena dah gastrik yeahhh!


Oh esok. Yeaaa excited. Going for barbecue the whole family. First time ah family aku buat barbecue. Like we just not kinda of those people yang suka buat stuffs like bbq. So tomorrow, family aku yang sudah lah bertambah 2 ahli nya, abang2 ipar aku, akan ke hulu langat hoyeahh.


I cannot cannot cannot eat mucho mucho tomorrow ;____;

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Cubaan trifle pudding

Okay, enough of the "outraged" post. Aku, kalau marah, kejap je weh. Tunggu lah sejam dua, kalau no one is pissing me off lagi, hilang ler marah aku.


Oh, sekarang nak cerita, aku try buat trifle hari ni! yeahhh! Okay2, tak berapa excited =___="


Tak sesenang yang aku sangka. At least for a first timer. Tapi bak kata mak aku lah, first time lah time nak belajar. Tengok mana yang boleh dibaiki.


Even takat nak buat kastard pun, aku dah macam "waaaa!!". Kah kah kah. Sila lah gelak. Aku tak pernah masak kastard so aku tak tau. Yang aku tau, aku suka makan kastard. Gila ah macam tongkang pecah dapur dibuatnya. Nasib baik keadaan dapat dikawal selepas aku "berhempas pulas" selama 1 jam. Semata2 nak buat trifle, ciss! So yeahhh, siapa yang cakap perempuan nampak seksi di dapur? Pasal aku cakap tak hahaha. 


Gambar trifle tak boleh nak upload. Pasal bluetooth aku buat hal. Mengada sungguh! Tapi tak apa. Pasal ini belum tahap masterpiece so mungkin sebab tu dia tak kasik tayang. 


Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha, maaf zahir dan batin. Makan biar sedap dan banyak tapi jangan sampai gemok weeee!

Outraged.

Memang wujud eh, orang yang boleh tibai cakap something tanpa fikir apa perasaan orang lain, consequences of apa yang dia cakap tu? Dia tak fikir, orang sakit hati ke, or apa dia cakap tu memang siot sangat menyakitkan hati. Wujud eh orang macam ni? Ye memang wujud. Pasal manusia memang banyak jenis. Tapi please lah weh, fikir dulu sebelum bercakap. Kau jenis cakap pedas2, kau tak tahu ke kadang boleh bikin panas sama orang lain. Berterus terang itu penting tapi biar bertempat lah weh. Agak2 lah pun nak utter those unsuitable words at times. Fikir jugak lah benda yang hendak di terus terang kan tuh menyakitkan hati orang ke tak. Kalau orang boleh tahan tak apa tapi kalau orang itu jenis soft hearted ke hape, tak ke kesian? Tak ke? Pikir ah wehh.


Kadang tu situation yang aku paling bapak ah tak suka, is when I did my works very devotedly, and was having a hard time in doing the works, and by the time aku dah siap kerja aku, and I did feel satisfy with it, suddenly someone out of nowhere, tiba2 commenting my works macam ah dia tu bapak pro. It's not that I can't take critiques, it's just sometimes, I NEED NOT CRITIQUES THANK YOU. Kadang2,  AKU TAK PERLUKAN KRITIKAN , TERIMA KASIH. Aku, prinsip aku senang, kalau aku perlukan kritikan, aku akan MINTAK. Aku akan TANYA kat orang, and mintak kritik. That means aku perlukan orang menilai kerja aku. Tapi ada sesetengah benda, I should feel satisfy only by my self. I need not others to feel satisfy with it. Me, myself is enough. Pasal it's my personal works. Gahhhh, aku just benci gila ah bila orang criticize my personal works. Personal works is for own satisfaction so why should I satisfy others with it? Unless aku memang nak mintak orang lain jugde. That's worth to be judge. 


And oh pantang aku kalau orang kacau my personal stuff, well as in tukar setting laptop aku ke, henfon ke, without my permission. Or bila pinjam barang aku, and didn't return it in a way it supposed to be. Kalau aku letak buku kat rak, bila ambil nak pinjam, kalau nak pulang, sila letak kat rak itu balik, the way it is. I, myself can mess up my stuffs, but not you. Biar bilik aku sepah sebab aku, bukan sebab orang lain. Boleh hangin aku dibuatnya. 


Oh, this is called outraged. 


Mintak maaf kalau terkasar.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Masuk hari ni, dah 2 hari aku masuk tidur pukul 4 pagi. Kalau time ada kelas, jangan mimpi lah nak tidur pukul 4. Pasal kelas aku hari2 8.30 pagi. Bukan nya takut tak leh bangun, takut nya kalau dalam kelas tu nanti tersengguk-sengguk, tak hengat dunia dah. Pikir nak tidur je. Last2 otak kosong time dalam kelas and zero knowledge has been gained.


Oh, sekarang ni aku tengah biasa kan diri tahan perut. Tahan perut bukan lah berlapar untuk diet. Just tahan perut malam2 tak mahu makan sebab kalau time exam hari tu, tibai je apa mau. Tak kisah lah dah pukul 1 pagi ke apa. Makan je. Sekarang nak kena disiplin diri balik. Gila ah tak bagus oh makan malam ni. Mengumpul lemak, of course lah kan. 


Okay, sebenarnya aku dah bosan nak diet time cuti. Pasal konpem tak jadik haha. Hangat2 tahi ayam je tau tu. Sekarang ni tak nak lah diet. Just nak try kawal pemakanan tu je la kot. Kang diet2 pun, time exam final naik balik haha. Tapi satu memang pantang sekarang is that yang makan malam tuh. Memang tak buat dah. Minum milo je laa kalau perut masuk angin. And oh, sekarang dalam sehari aku amalkan jalan 30 minit dua kali. Untuk kesihatan jantung, bukan untuk kurus haha. Boring ah weh diet, tak tipu. Aku memang jenis suka (kuat!!) makan, so... dieting isn't my friend, yeay!


Cuti ni pun, biasa lah, mood nak memasak itu kembali. Buat hobi je haha. Tak ada lah kewajipan pun nak memasak tu. Memasak, hanya akan jadi best kalau benda yang dimasak itu sedap. Kalau tak sedap, memang tak ah. Aku pun malas nak masak lagi. Grr, memalam macam ni tiba2 mengidam french toast. Oh no no. Sila bertahan suhaila roslan! Okay, back to the story. Aku dah fikir dah beberapa resepi nak kasik try. Fikir je lah. Belum tentu jadi. 


Nanti laa kalau dah jadi, akan ku post kan kat blog ini hehe 

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Lesbianism

Lately aku perasan, bila aku usha2 semua updates kat facebook aku, rupanya, ramai jugak lah member time sekolah menengah aku dulu, dah couple dengan perempuan. Ye, mereka couple dengan PEREMPUAN. Dukacita aku nak maklum kan, seperti ramai yang tau, aku ni dulu dari sekolah perempuan, so yes, exactly as you guys thought, mereka ramai yang jadi lesbian.


Sigh...


Tak tahu dah nak cakap apa...


Speechless...


Dah tak ada langsung lelaki ke kat dunia ni? Tak ada langsung ke?


Serius, aku tengok ramai yang couple dengan pengkid. Mula2 tengok, aku bajet mereka ni hanya lah kawan baik semata. Alaa, macam best friends main peluk2 gitu. But then, bila tengok kat status mereka, "In a relationship with XXX", "Married to XXX", "Engaged to XXX". Lepas tu usha laa status update mereka, "I'm totally in love with xxx" and kat status punya comments siap lovey dovey lagi. And gambar mereka peluk2. So, yes, memang sah mereka ni couple.


Hmmm..


Tak pernah aku rasa Islam halalkan lesbian ni.


Tak pernah aku rasa Islam bagi kahwin sesama jantina.


And aku rasa dulu time sekolah, ustazah pun pernah ajar, kan?




Tak tahu mana silap dia. Pernah ada pengalaman buruk bersama lelaki? Atau tak ada lelaki yang nak kat dia? Atau dia sendiri memang bernafsu dekat perempuan? Entah, tak tahu mana silap dia. Tapi mostly lah, 2 reasons pertama yang mentioned tu jadi penyebab utama. 


Bila diorang couple dengan perempuan, diorang rasa diri diorang lebih difahami kot. Ye lah, sesama jantina, kita lebih faham jantina sendiri kannn. But then, where's the sense of opposite attractions there? Itu yang mereka cari pengkid tuh, "macho" sikit lah kata nya.


Aku rasa couple dengan pengkid ni lagi teruk dari couple dengan lelaki. Sebabnya, kalau couple dengan pengkid ni, bila mereka main pegang2 ke, cium2 ke, raba2 ke, it just like, mereka rasa mereka boleh buat tanpa rasa bersalah mungkin. Sebab kalau ikut Islam, kita boleh je pegang sesama jantina. Tapi, mereka lupa yang kalau kita pegang sesama jantina dengan NAFSU, maka jatuh sudah hukum HARAM kat situ. Homosexuality itu pun hukumnya haram, tahu? At least lah, bila couple dengan lelaki, korang tahu jugak diri korang buat dosa bila pegang2 dengan boyfriend. Korang sedar benda tu berdosa. Tapi bila couple dengan perempuan, nampak macam tak dosa sebab sama jantina. Padahal, haram sudah hukumnya. 


Makin banyak masalah sosial yang berlaku. Balasan Allah itu sekejap je sampai. Takut lah pada azab-Nya.


Nauzubillahi min zalik

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Kisah hidup PinkHippo 4

Lately ni, Pink Hippo kenapa ye...?


Makan tak kenyang

Tidur tak lena

Mandi pun tak rasa basah

Lepas tu


Asyik termenung

Kenapa ye?

Oh
Rupanya

PinkHippo
Dah
Jatuh
CINTA!

kat Pinkie Hippo =)


Hari2 PinkHippo tengok facebook Pinkie Hippo


Hari2 PinkHippo check status Pinkie Hippo

Bila Pinkie Hippo gembira, PinkHippo pun gembira :)

Dan, hari2 PinkHippo akan check handphone kalau2 ada message dari Pinkie Hippo

Tapi
Satu hari
Sedang PinkHippo check facebook
Tiba2 PinkHippo perasan status Pinkie Hippo pelik



"Ternampak dia kat cafe hari ini, dia sangat comel =)"

Oh, apakah?


"I'm in love with Blue Hippo"









........











...

...







Takpe PinkHippo. Kumbang bukan seekor, bunga bukan sekuntum. Putus cinta sekali, ada peluang kali kedua. Remember that =)

"Sometime you just have to hold your head up high, blink away the tears and say good-bye."

Dreamed about you

I've been dreaming about you lately
Lots of times actually

Dreamt about you

I wonder why these happened
Do I miss you?
Do I?
Or everything was just a coincidence?
I wonder what those are

I don't know

Confusion

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I don't like reminiscing this past.

I just don't like the feeling when I'm listening to some songs, suddenly there comes my past, like going through my brain non stop, reminiscing the unwanted memories. It's just an unfair feeling when I fell into the sadness or down mood, while you there, having fun on your own, with your own activities. You got to cheer up yourself without any hassle, so I should too (and supposed to). It's unfair, just to feel this kind of feeling alone. Cuz I got a little feeling that, you there, just don't really care on how I feel. Happy? Sad? I don't think you care. So why do I care? Why should I care? Why?


Oh, you. Yes, you. No other people other than you.


So I just need to throw away this feeling, right?


There you go, dumped in the dustbin.

Final habis sudah

And this, marked the finish of my final exams for this semester. Susah nya, sangat lah susah kalau ambil credit hour 18.5. Even lecturer DSF aku cakap dia terkejut dengar kitorang ambil 18.5. Apetah lagi lah budak2 yang amek credit hour 21 tu. Serius mereka itu gilo. I cried couple of times. Cried hard of course. Allah saja tahu perasaan itu.

I have done my best, just let Allah do the rest.

Party people, party!! Woot3!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Report emergency: PinkHippo diculik!!


Kecemasan, kecemasan, PinkHippo diculik! Kalau ada sesapa napok dia sila hubungi saya. Penculik dikenalpasti seperti yang didalam gambar!


Dan penculik meminta wang tebusan Rp 280
Mana nak cekau duit T_________T

PinkHippo diculik!!!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Who should I give my love to?
My respect and my honor to
Who should I pay good mind to?
After Allah
And Rasulullah
Comes your mother
Who next?Your mother
Who next?Your mother
And then your father
Cause who used to hold you
And clean you and clothes you
Who used to feed you?
And always be with you
When you were sick
Stay up all night
Holding you tight
That's right no other
My mother
Who should I take good care of?
Giving all my love
Who should I think most of?
After Allah
And Rasulullah
Comes your mother
Who next?Your mother
Who next?Your mother
And then your father
Cause who used to hear you
Before you could talk
Who used to hold you?
Before you could walk
And when you fell who picked you up
Clean your cut
No one but your mother
My mother
Who should I stay right close to?
Listen most to
Never say no to
After Allah
And Rasulullah
Comes your mother
Who next?Your mother
Who next?Your mother
And then your father
Cause who used to hug you
And buy you new clothes
Comb your hair
And blow your nose
And when you cry
Who wiped your tears?
Knows your fears
Who really cares?
My mother
Say Alhamdulillah
Thank you Allah
Thank you Allah
For my mother

=)

4 down. 10 haribulan merdeka!

Another 2 to go!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Kisah hidup PinkHippo 3











...............................................

.
.
.
.

Apa motif gambar2 ni semua?

apa?
apa??
apa???


Ini menunjukkan
PinkHippo
dah 



GEMOK!!!


..........


PinkHippo sangat sedih T________T 

sedihhhhh


T_________________________________T



Takpe PinkHippo! Anda akan tetap sangat disayangi oleh tuan anda ^___^

Dan anda superstar sekarang hahaa =D