Friday, December 24, 2010

Ugly duckling

Actually there is this one type of guy that I am really f*cking hate them.

Well, the story goes like this.

I still remember when I was still in CENFOS. I was an engineering student, who happen to be placed as one of the level 6 people. As for those who don't know, level 6 ni konon2 those people yang English konon bagos laa haha no offense. Dia macam MUET laa where you got band 1-6. Level 6 ni second highest level. The highest level should be those who are exempted lah. 

So, being placed with the level 6 people, I don't know if you guys know this or not, tapi those people dekat level 6 ni, kebanyakkan nya budak2 bandar, yang konon tak reti cakap Melayu haha no offense again. But not all lah.

And time aku kat level 6 tu, I only got 3 girl friends, where the other 20 people are all boys. Engineering, memang macam tu lah kan. And out of the four of us, I can actually say that, I am the less pretty. My 3 other friends were all are very gorgeous. Not the cute type, they're the beautiful type. So guys actually love to hang out with them lah kan. 

I was back then, ain't really know how to dress up. Got all the zits and pimples all over my face. And totally a shy girl. I don't know how to dress up prettily. That was me at that time. Compared to the other 3, I should be the less attractive one. 

So, at that time, it happens that there this one guy, let's just call him Mr. M, who happen to liked one of my friend, let's just call her Miss Y. I don't really remember how it goes, tapi seingat aku time tu this Mr M and his friend ajak lah my other friend, Miss X, pergi makan sama2. Saja je lah. So to cut the story short, this Mr M sebenarnya expected Miss X ajak Miss Y sekali pergi makan. But "unfortunately", Miss Y tak dapat nak ikut, so Miss X ajak aku instead. I was totally innocent at that time, ikut je lah. Setakat nak teman Miss X since takkan nak biar dia pergi sorang.

And ya know what happened when I arrived at where we supposed to meet? 

That Mr M, looked totally surprised. Acting innocently, I just followed my friend, and sit right in front of this Mr M. 

Mr M doesn't look like he is comfortable with that.

And you know what he did?

With a kinda gross look on his face, after a few minutes, he got himself up, just like that, and find another place at another table to sit. How f*cking rude is that? 

Ok. F*ck. I know I ain't that pretty. I am not as pretty as Miss Y. I might looked very deeply ugly to you, but what's wrong to just sit there and act like you are friend of mine? Why the f*ck you need to get up off your seat? Is it very shameful to be a friend to someone who looks very kampung, very ugly? Huh? Is it very shameful? F*ck off.

I don't know, but I feel like this kind of guy, really throws me off the edge. I kinda totally lost my confidence with my look. Always feel not confident when I hang out with them, my beautiful friends. This kind of guy destroys everything. 

But time goes by. I already got myself out from that clique. I feel like I don't belong with them. I just don't speak English 24/7 like they do. I don't really know how to social up like they do. I can't be like them.

Little by little, I try to find another clique here in UIA, where suits me more. Little by little, I try to build my level of confidence up. I just convince myself up, that yes, I AM as beautiful as them, just in my own way. I try dress up more prettily. And build up my own image.   

So here I am. Has already convinced up myself that I am beautiful. I do have my own attraction. Maybe I am not as gorgeous as those 3, but still, by being confident, GIRLS, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL :)

p/s: oh, even though I appear to be not really pretty at that time, there were still some guys who liked me at that time too. Out of those 20 boys.

Still, to the guy that liked me at that time, I wanna thank you for liking me even though I might not be very pretty. Up till now the identity of that guy is still a mystery, but I just wanna say thank you, for liking me :)

p/s/s: cerita ini aku buka balik sebab aku terjumpa balik the damn guy yang hina aku dulu. I can now easily feel proud of myself to walk confidently in front of him. Come, eat my shoes. I DON'T CARE haha :)

pardon my English. tunggang langgang pasal otak ting tong haha.

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